The Begining a.k.a the longest time of my life

Well, I have decided that I would like to document the life of a girl in waiting, the life of a girl so hopelessly in love with someone so far away. I will document/vent/just let you know what its like. It is hard trying to talk with friends who haven't sent a missionary out, they just dont understand. Their boyfriends are still here, they get the good night texts before bed, the good morning beautiful phone calls, the surprise visits, the cuddling, the laughing. They just dont get it. They don't understand that everything is difficult, whether its pathetic or not that Missionary Girls do this or not, it's still the truth. The truth is, that everything reminds me of Jimmie (my man =] ). I frantically schedual up every second of every day because I know when I am alone I get sad. I avoid going certain places because all I can do when I am there is think about him and how much I miss him. Anything and everything of every second of everyday reminds me of him. Sometime I laugh and remember how much he loves me and I get all warm and fuzzy inside. Other times I just wish that he could be with me sharing these memories. And thats one of the most difficult things about the mission, I cant talk to him about our love, or about our relationship, or how much I miss him, or how much I think of him. I can only give him words of encouragement, words of love, and tell him how proud I am of him. I cant ACTUALLY talk to him about what i am really going through. This is why I keep the greatest diary, so when he gets home he can read it and I can say, "SEE! SEE what you put me through? DONT EVER DO THAT AGAIN!". And any girls out there judging us Missionary Girls because we seem sad, pathetic, or crazy, keep it to yourself. Different things help different girls during this time. I carry my letters from him every where I go, and I sleep in his t-shirts. Others might buy his deoderant, or hang up his pictures every where. And DONT judge us on how much time we spend with his family, because correction= they are like our family. In the time before he left they were who we spent our time with, we saw his family on a daily basis, and just because he is gone, doesn't mean we cant be a part of their family. I miss him with all of my heart, and love him with it too. But each day farther away from the last time I said goodbye to him, is only one day closer to the time when I can say hello.